Road Test: 2008 Alpina B7

Story and photos by John LeBlanc In any Hollywood heist movie, the getaway car plays a vitally important role in the mind of any aspiring criminal. Especially those whose goal is not to end up in a cell. Not that the bad guys in classic films like Vanishing Point, Bullitt or Ronin all get away with it. But a great getaway – in a great getaway car – makes for better movie watching than seeing some villainous computer hack type the "escape" key. Which is why I'm putting forward my first annual Wheels Award for Best Movie Getaway Car. And this year's winner (the envelope, please) goes to the BMW's Alpina B7. For all that BMW puts into all its factory-tuned hot rod "M" series of cars, the German automaker doesn't do an "M7." Which makes Alpina's version of BMW's already low sales volume full-size sedan that much more desirable. Although Alpina has been breathing on BMWs since 1961 (see sidebar), the B7 is only its second model ever offered in North America. Its first model, based on the Z8 Roadster in 2002-03, would more than likely get even the most artful dodger spotted within the first block or two of its escape. Nearly as fast as BMW's vaunted M5 super sedan, the B7 has more room for all the "gang," plus room in its 500 L trunk for any necessary criminal lifestyle hardware. And – potentially the most important quality – because no one will suspect such athleticism from such a husky form, the big Alpina sedan is as stealthy as black ice on a January back road. It's built on the shorter wheelbase of the $108,500 750i sedan, but it's kitted out like the $174,500 top-of-the-line 760Li V12 limo. Even with a starting price that splits the difference at $152,000, BMW Canada's sole Alpina model is priced out of the range of most two-bit thugs. To get its B7 to go "getaway fast," first Alpina went small. Instead of the 750i's 4.8 L V8, Alpina uses the older model's 4.4 unit. It then bolts on a supercharger, builds up the engine with a stronger bottom end, lowers the compression ratio and attaches a new exhaust system. The result is 500 horsepower and 516 lb.-ft. of torque. That's up 140 hp and 156 lb.-ft., respectively, over the cooking 750i. It's even 62 hp more than what you get in the $174,500 760Li. While only bookies may appreciate all these numbers, anyone trying to get from A to B quickly will recognize the B7's 0-to-100 km/h time of 4.9 seconds makes it the quickest 7 Series extant – over a full second quicker than the 750i, and it just keeps getting faster from there. Part of the Alpina makeover is a new aerodynamic package. Adding more downforce, it allows the removal of the 7 Series' speed limiter for a new top speed of 300 km/h. (Not that I would know first-hand ...) And thanks to Alpina's Bavarian engineering elves, the B7 can also handle, steer and brake with equal cop-avoiding competence. In fact, the B7 handles much like a car one size smaller. Credit goes to its massive 21-inch tires and a re-tuned suspension. Although my time in the Alpina didn't involve any high-speed pursuits, its balance and grip are near BMW M5 levels. For such a wide (1,902 mm), long (5,039 mm) and heavy (1,960 kg) luxobarge, the B7's steering has copious amounts of feel to it. And a 7 Series exclusive, an active roll stabilization system, keeps the car flat in the corners. While the rubber-band Michelins wrapped around Alpina's customary thin-spoke rims look like they'd deliver the brittle ride of a police wagon over anything but the worst Ottawa potholes, it's as smooth as the recoil on a Beretta 92 F. (Not that I would know that, either ...) Supremely comfortable 20-way-adjustable seats and a quiet cabin may also get the unwary in trouble with the law. I glanced at the speedo several times and caught myself 20 to 30 km/h over the speed limit too many times. The Alpina is pricey, to be sure. But considering its performance, luxury and exclusivity, the Alpina's pricing is right in the ballpark with others in its class. The $149,500 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG has 518 hp. But however competent the sporty S Class may be, a big Merc as a getaway car is about as predictable as a metal file in a birthday cake. Then there's the Audi S8. It seems like a bit of a steal at $127,100. But its 450 horsepower just doesn't cut it when you're looking at five-to-10 in the rear-view mirrors. And neither of these Teutonic super sedan rivals have the communicative feedback or sharp handling of the B7. Or its stealthy Alpina badging. So for getaway artists, Hollywood moviemakers or even those not likely to commit a crime any time soon, the BMW Alpina's B7 just may be a four-wheeled, get-out-of-jail-free card.

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