Knightrider gets a pony

If you’re a fan of General Motors’ third generation 1982-92 F-body Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, get ready to be disappointed.

Autoblog.com is reporting that U.S. television network, NBC, has signed off on a new “Knight Rider” made-for-TV movie. Replacing the Michael Knight character that actor/singer David Hasselhoff played between 1982-86 will be a former soap star named Justin Bruening.

More importantly, NBC is dumping the original Firebird Trans Am-based "Knight Industries Two Thousand" car with—of all things—a Ford Shelby GT500KR Mustang.

Why the remorse for Trans Am fans?

Looking back, the rear-drive Pontiac 2+2 sports coupe was relatively high tech for the time. OK, its 145 hp V8 was a bit wheezy. And its build quality was right up there with that gingerbread house your kids are working on for Christmas.

But remember, these were the Dark Ages for the car industry. At least the ‘Bird’s aerodynamic front end and swoopy rear backlight were way cooler than a contemporary Toyota Celica Supra.

So if this new Michael Knight is supposed to be driving an “advanced smart car with artificial intelligence,” what’s with the retro Shelby in this revival?

No offence to ‘Stang lovers. With its very non-independent rear axle, wooly steering and retro looks, anyone calling the Selby “cutting edge” is still watching Knightrider reruns with an aerial TV and working on their Mamas and Papas LP collection.

Pontiac goes Down Under, again.

Speaking of retro, pickup.com is confirming what a pickup version of Pontiac’s forthcoming Australian-built G8 sedan is a go.

Yup, you read that right, a pickup.

GM's Vice Chairman of Product Development, Bob Lutz expressed hopes that GMC would sell the two-door, two-seat pickup as the new Caballero, in honour of 1978-87 car-based GMC Caballero (not to be confused with the Simpson’s fictitious Canyonero SUV that “smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..”, bit I digress…)

Instead, the name of Pontiac's truck/car will be the 'G8 ST', short for Sport Truck. It will only be sold with a new 6.0-litre V8 and no V6. Pricing is expected to start at $31,000 and versions of GM mid-size sedans are to join a wagon version “by the end of the decade.

The death of the GMC Caballero and its Chevy El Camino counterpart in 1987 was mainly due to the rising popularity of compact pickups like the Chevy S-10. Popular Down Under, these vehicles are known as “Utes.”

The G8 ST Ute will probably be a blast to drive. Especially with no weight in the cargo bed.

But is a two-seat, muscle pickup/car the answer to a question no one is asking? Whom does GM think this vehicle will appeal to?

Maybe The General knows something we don’t.

Either that or short memory syndrome may be setting in.

This will be GM’s second crack at a V8 sports truck in the last decade. The last one was Chevrolet’s SSR, which sold only 24,0000 copies between 2003-06.

Is your vehicle satisfying your needs?

That’s the question Consumer Reports asked its readers for its Car Owner Satisfaction Survey. The results, to be published in its January issue, and released this week on ConsumerReports.org, held few surprises.

Industry watchers will see little news in that Japanese brands fill nearly half of the winners’ circle. Or that Toyota took 10 of the top 39 spots and the Detroit Three taking seven. But what about the vehicles that disappointed their owners?; the “I’ll never buy one of those again” turkeys?

Domestic brands accounted for 20 of the 22 vehicles listed on Consumer Reports’ list of least pleasing vehicles, 15 of from General Motors:

• Small Cars: Chevrolet Cobalt (coupe, no turbo), Saturn Ion (sedan), Chevrolet Cobalt (Sedan), Chevrolet Aveo (sedan);

• Minivans: Ford Freestar, Buick Terraza, Chevrolet Uplander, Saturn Relay;

• SUVs: Chevrolet Trail Blazer (6-cyl., RWD), GMC Envoy (6-cyl., RWD), Suzuki Grand Vitara, Jeep Commander (V6), Chevrolet Equinox, Jeep Grand Cherokee (V6, gas);

• Pickup Trucks: Dodge Dakota, Chevrolet Colorado (5-cyl.), GMC Envoy (5-cyl.), GMC Canyon (4-cyl.), Ford Ranger, Mazda B-Series, Chevrolet Colorado (4-cyl.), GMC Canyon (4-cyl.).

At the bottom of the least satisfying to own barrel were the corporate Buick Terraza, Chevrolet Uplander and Saturn Relay minivan clones.

Funnily enough, many of these vehicles we also reported as depreciation disasters in Crank #96.

- John LeBlanc, Publsiher