Idiots in Porsches, no more

June 16, 2006 - By John LeBlanc

Barbecue season for most folks means getting caught up with the neighbours on how little Jimmy is doing in school or whether it will be Prince Edward Island or the Muskokas for that precious two weeks of summer holidays. But, if you're like me, the talk quickly turns to cars and, inevitably, the idiots who drive them. Stories of getting sharply cut off or ignorantly passed on the shoulder -- followed by the obligatory displays of middle digits -- are always good fodder until the hot dogs are ready.

Of course, the story is always juicier if the offending driver is at the wheel of an expensive sports car. It may be just as dangerous getting sideswiped by a Ford Focus, but the story always plays better around the grill if the offending driver was behind the wheel of an expensive and overtly powerful sports car.

For a number of years, Downtown Porsche of Toronto has been trying to eliminate the "idiot in a Porsche" stories from backyard barbecues by offering its customers an opportunity to try exploring the limits of their cars (and now SUVs, hello Cayenne) in a safe environment (i.e., not at the drive-through at Timmy's).

According to Chris Plater, Downtown's sales manager, the day-long course at Mosport International Raceway, north of Bowmanville, Ont., is first and foremost about safety.

"One of the unique things about our school is that whenever someone is on the track, there is an instructor in the car. We don't send just one instructor out with five walkie-talkies," says Plater.

Porsche runs a driving school in Alabama. But it's expensive and time consuming for Canadians to get there. Understanding that the performance aspect is what gets customers' juices flowing, Downtown approached noted Canadian professional race car driver and instructor Rick Bye to set up the program, assemble the instructors and, basically, make sure no one acted like an idiot in a Porsche.

"People on the road never get the opportunity to stretch their cars out and see what they are really made of," says Bye, "and it's way better exploring the potential of your car here than on the street.

"Obviously, we can send drivers home with the experience of seat-of-the-pants car control exercises. They can get into the braking, understand how their cars' handling works and try out the active safety features that are built into the car that are so beyond the average driver on a daily basis," says Bye. "In the end, we want the driver to leave understanding that driving requires a lot of focus and concentration.

"One of the most frequent comments I get [is]: 'Wow! I didn't know something could take this much concentration.' So I ask, 'How did you get here?'"
Plater admits the track days (two last year, four planned for 2006) are a lot of work to organize by a small organization focused on selling cars, but he feels it's important. If you're in the process of buying a Porsche, think about how money is better spent: $790 on leather sun visors or, for $9 more, a day at the track getting to know what your Porsche can and can't do? In fact, for the price of a navigation system, you could take the course annually for the next four years.

And what of the idea that owners of high-performance cars, not just Porsches, should take mandatory high-performance driving instruction at schools such as Downtown's on a regular basis?

"You know," says Bye, "cars are such high-tech pieces of equipment, we should feel responsible to train [drivers to] use them properly."

Anything that reduces the number of idiots in a you-know-what stories would be a good thing.