1996-1999 Olds Eighty Eight LSS

By John Rogers

Before the marketing wanks started slapping vinyl cartoon characters on muscle cars in the late '60s, the original Bonnevilles, Chrysler letter cars and Grand National-engined Galaxies certainly qualified as Q-ships.

The formula still held true in the '90s, and to drivers who knew their way around an option sheet Oldsmobile had a bit of a sleeper in their Eighty Eight with the LSS package.

I know, I know, all Oldsmobiles are "sleepers" these days, what with the Generals' decision to deep six the entire division. Which is a shame, because if you appreciate understated cars that provide a nice compromise between ride and handling, and you must if you're a straight-six reader, the recent Olds lineup were America's closest yet to attaining those values.

The swoopy Seville-based Aurora sedan got all of the press, and admittedly gave the old Rocket division a new lease on life. But it was the innocuous Eighty Eight in LSS form that provided an American alternative for a well appointed car that didn't fall all over on its door once you hit the twisties.

Think "American Acura Legend" and you wouldn't be too far off.

Bringing the 225-hp supercharged 3800 vee-six down from the octogenarian targeted Ninety Eight helped motivate the LSS with a 22 percent increase from the naturally aspirated engine. And the LSS wasn't all that "olds" in the technology department as load-leveling suspension, ABS and traction-control came standard. The LSS also had an early version of GM's Magnasteer variable-assist steering system. And talk about anti-American ethics, the instrument panel even had a tach!

Now, you wouldn't trade in your 5 Series for an LSS, but the LSS provided a nicely balanced suspension that was firm enough to gave you a feel for the road without loosening your dentures. (Ease up on the demographic jibes. - Ed.) Compared to that 5 Series, the compromise between ride and handling still favoured marshmallow over muscle, but the LSS did respect your request to change directions more than most domestic barges of the time.

Before you run out and get that Rocket tattoo you've always, beware of the brakes. Despite the premium size ,and premium competition, the LSS only came with discs up front. After a bit of spirited driving the rear drums start to go south faster than Canadians in February.

Compared to its show-off Bonneville SSEi sister, the LSS's styling was stealthy with only subtle chrome LSS letters on the front fenders.

If you could have kicked your import jag, the LSS was a quick, quiet, roomy, and cost-effective solution to the Q-Ship equation.

Put a fedora on the back shelf and you're clear for the left lane.

Engine
configuration vee-six
power 240 hp
torque 275 lb-ft
displacement 3791cc

Gear box
4-speed automatic

Performance
0 - 60 mph 7.0 seconds

Current price: $5,084-$11,174 US

Q rivals: Acura Legend, Taurus SHO, Volvo 960
Anti-Q rivals: Camaro, Mustang,
Q rating: