Straight-Six, Automotive Journalism without the Restrictor Plates

Montréal, Québec – Thursday, June 22, 1:15 p.m. With this year’s Canadian Grand Prix falling on the same weekend as Québec’s Saint-Jean-Baptiste long weekend, leaving the Nation’s Capital, I suspect my usual under-two-hour, Ottawa-to-Montréal drive time may be in jeopardy. But I also forget Madonna is wrapping up her second of two performances at the Bell Centre this evening as well, so the usually maniacal Montreal grand prix week traffic may even be more so.

4:40 p.m. Crap. I arrive 40 minutes late for my date with reigning FIA World Touring Car Champion, BMW Team UK’s Andy Priaulx, at BMW’s new Pit Lane Park across from Madonna’s temporary home. Instead of doing doughnuts with Andy, I end up “sweeping” the track in the Imola Red M Coupé BMW Canada has kindly lent me for the race weekend. People still gawked (Madonna who?). The main attraction here was supposed to be BMW’s Sauber F1.06 Formula 1 racecar that alternates with a Formula BMW racing car in converting tire rubber into smoke. But the show is stolen by BMW Motorrad’s stunt and racing champion, Christian Pfeiffer, wowing the capacity crowd of 1,400 on his motorcycle.

Friday, June 23, 9:15 a.m. Let’s see, I could make the trek from my downtown hotel to Circuit Gilles-Villeneuve—located on Île de Notre Dame, an artificial island built for Expo 67—and watch F1 drivers practice. Or, I could take the reins of the M Coupé and check out historical Circuit Mont-Tremblant, 140 kilometres north of Montréal. Duh, where’s the key?

12:45 p.m. With holiday traffic and speed traps galore, the drive up highway 15 to Tremblant (known as the "Little Nurburgring", that alternated with Mosport in Bowmanville, Ont. in hosting the Canadian Grand Prix between 1967 and 1971) is taken at a pace that frustrates both car and driver. After patiently waiting for the day’s driving school classes to break for lunch, with the help of the track’s general manager, Vince Loughren, I move the M Coupé into pit lane for some beauty shots. Knowing current BMW Sauber driver Jacques Villeneuve, his father and uncle all began their careers here, and names like Andretti, Moss, Ickx, Rahal, and Tracy have tackled the track’s challenging geography, I respectfully take the M Coupé for a few leisurely laps at the insistence of Loughren. Like all of BMW’s in-house tuner M cars, the M Coupé is track ready, but today, the circuit’s track record is safe.

1:15 p.m. Watching the M Coupe’s odometer roll over 2,000 kms means the car’s initial break-in restraints of no full throttle and a maximum engine speed of 5,500 r.p.m. can now be blissfully ignored. With this knowledge in hand, and trying not to rep[eat the stately pace from the morning’s drive up, for my return route back to Montréal, I decide what the M Coupé (and driver) needs was the more challenging two-lanes that snake through the Laurentians.

3:30 p.m. Back at the hotel, I make note of my first impressions of the BMW’s road rocket: With the sophisticated 3.2-litre straight-six cylinder mill from the M3 Coupé, with variable valve timing on both camshafts and six individual throttle bodies to help it achieve its exceptional 330 horsepower, 262 pound-feet of torque, plus a curb weight less than 1,500 kilograms, the M Coupé is mental fast. BMW claims 0-100 km/h in five seconds. Through the first three of the six available gears in the manual shift gearbox, the car is simply explosive, squatting on its hind 255/40-18 Z-rated Continental rubber (225/45 up front) with each release of the clutch. The stiff ride means bad pavement will have you shucking and jiving behind the wheel to keep this animal under control. But towards the south end of route 327, I land on some (rare) smooth tarmac and the grip is freaky, way beyond the limits of my skills, or the safety (or lack thereof) of a public road. Bitches? The styling of the top of the rear hatch limits vision, the steering wheel is too thick—as in the M Roadster—and the rear mirrors are too small. For the $68,900 BMW is asking for this car, small caveats, indeed.

Saturday, June 24, 2:05 p.m. After two days, here, I feel a little obligated to get to Circuit Gilles-Villeneuve to see how the BNW Sauber boys are doing. But after half-decent practice sessions where only the two Renaults were faster than Jacques Villeneuve and Nick Heidfeld who make a quick appearance in the BMW paddock club. Jacques ends up qualified 11th for his home Grand Prix while Quick Nick came 13th. 2:30 p.m. I discover there’s more than a Formula 1 race here this weekend. The supporting Star Mazda Series race gets my attention with an opening lap incident I haven’t seen outside of NASCAR that knocks out of the race 15 of the 42 drivers at the front of the field. Ouch.

Sunday, June 25, 1:30 a.m. Maiseunuve and Crescent in downtown Montréal is traditionally ground zero for the annual street party. Sitting on the third floor terrace of a certain Mr. Villeneuve’s eponymous (in English, at least ) Newtown restaurant, the free concert from the Bon Jovi cover band has long ended, but the streets are still packed. Vive le grand prix!

7:30 a.m. A promised interview with said Mr. Villeneuve arranged by BMW PR honcho, Kevin Marcotte, means an early wake up call. Where the hell is my espresso?

11:10 a.m. Except for the Dentists, er, Ferrari Challenge support race, Sunday at the track is all Formula 1. A drivers' track parade, followed by a starting grid presentation, the host country’s national anthem, and then—finally—the start of the 71 laps of the 2006 Grand Prix du Canada 2006 at 1 p.m.

1:35 p.m. Coming to the first pit stops, Villeneuve is placed in 6th a half second behind Ferrari’s Massa, the highest the Canadian will place today.

2:20 p.m. Once again, Villeneuve leaves a mark on one of the walls here. With 11 laps to go, Jacques drifts off the racing line attempting to lap Ralf Schumacher in his very slow Toyota, hits the wall bringing the safety-car out and closing the field for a dash to the finish.

2:34 p.m. Doesn’t matter, because with his commanding first Canadian Grand Prix victory, it looks like Renault driver Fernando Alonso's desire for a second successive world championship title is going to come true, with Michael and Kimi following him to the podium.

5:00 p.m. Like midnight for Cinderella, poof, the surreal world of a Formula 1 weekend is over. Wonder if Jacques has room in his helicopter o get me off Île de Notre Dame quicker?